Moving on from my post on the  perfect escort here is another post that  i found amusing although i have never worked in a parlour i have worked with many girls in private flats to know that this is the mild version of what is often said  this is taken from the ever popular

www.punternet.com message board thread although i have added one or two comments myself

  
                             What Some Girls/ Establisments Say And What They Really Mean 
                                                        The Guide For Newbies 

"We open at 11.00" - the woman with the keys arrives at 11.15 and the masseuses get in at noon.

"Last massage is at 8.00" - last massage is at 7.15; we lock up at 7.45

"she’s a BBW" - she’s fat

she is booked up - Fuck knows where she is, but if you find her please tell her to call   

"she’s a cuddly BBW" - she’s clinically obese

"she’s a mature 40 year old!" - she’s over 50

"she’s a mature 50 year old" -she’s at the Post Office cashing her pension

"today we have Sasha, Louise will be in shortly" - we’ve rung Louise’s home and mobile, we’ve no bloody idea where she is.

"Sasha and Louise do a great two-girl" - that’s £20 extra

"with a great girl-on-girl lesbian show" - and that’s £40 extra

"free refreshments" - broken biscuit assortment from Lidl"a choice of drink" - tea or coffee but we’ve run out of milk/sugar

"she’s very outgoing" - she’s on drugs

"Her statistics are 36-24-36" - that’s just round her leg

"she’s 34d" - she’s 36c (reduce measurement by 2 and cup size by 1 in all descriptions.

"she’ll be available shortly" - at least an hour’s wait

"she’s available now" -she’s be in the room with someone else when you get here (this applies even when you’re ringing from outside

"she’s new" - she has no idea what she’s doing

"she’s popular" - you’ll never get an appointment ever

"she’s going to be really popular" -she looks awful no-one would pick her out of choice

"Toiletries provided" - Lidl pine shower gel 

clean towels  redreid in the tumbe dryer

"Superior showers" - we’ve cleaned the mould off the wall/curtains

"valuables are left at your own risk" - the customers are theives and will nick anything you leave about

"lockers" - the masseuses are thieves and have duplicate keys

"all inclusive charge" - see 2 girl as above

"special water-sports service" - the toilet is blocked and the girls are pissing in the showers